Be Kind To Others But Also Be Kind to Yourself

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week, and for 2020 the theme is Kindness. Being kind to others has a positive effect on our mental health. And, by helping others we are not only helping ourselves but we are also contributing to making this a better world. Isn't that enough reason to spread kindness around us?

Last year, for Mental Health Awareness Week the theme was Body Image and I ran a debate about Mental Health in the Fashion Industry in collaboration with Olivia Pinnock and her platform the Fashion Debates. But this year, with everything that is going on, I wasn't able to put anything together to contribute to raising awareness of the importance of taking care of our Mental Health.

I think this is why I was having a bit of a writer's block this morning when I was trying to write this post. The current global situation has a toll on creativity and the fact that we are not having new nor diverse experiences contributes to this creative block. To clear my head, I was suggested to go out for a run to see if the fresh air got the creative juices flowing.

While running, I listened to episode 3 - part 1 of Gabrielle Motola's podcast Stranger Curiosity in which she talks to photographic artist Rhiannon Adam. During their conversation, Rhiannon spoke about how the extraordinary stops being extraordinary when it becomes the norm. And this phrase got me into thinking about the times we are living.

For some people, finding themselves suddenly with all this available time became an opportunity to do the things that they have always wanted to do but never had the time to do. It is in a way like a forced vacation, even if many weeks later this new reality may have lost its appeal. It has been normalized, it's not exciting anymore. It has become ordinary.

At the same time, for other people this situation makes them feel like they have been put in prison. Even in the best possible scenarios, in which they kept their jobs and were able to work from home, they are forced to face and re-explore the dynamics with relatives, spouses, housemates and even with themselves. For those in the worst possible scenarios, they are faced with loss and grief. And when this extraordinary situation also became ordinary, things started to feel even worse.

What is a paradise for some, is a prison for others. This duality creates a perfect environment for mental health problems and can put an added stress in the dynamics within communities. That is why is so important to touch base with others and check how they are. And it is as important to also assess our own wellbeing and mental state.

Which acts of kindness can you do for others?

• Call a friend who you haven’t spoken to for a while. Ring someone who is on their own, or video call them. Check on someone you know who is going through a tough time.

• Tell your family how much you love and appreciate them. Help with household chores.

• Offer to help an elderly or vulnerable neighbour.

• Tell someone how much you appreciate them.

Which acts of kindness can you do for yourself?

• Prioritise some “me” time, so you can relax and reflect on how you’re feeling and how your day or week has been so far.

• Treat yourself to something small, such as buying or planting some flowers.

• Do something you enjoy, like listening to a favourite song or dancing in your kitchen.

• Spend some time in nature, which is good for our mental health.

• Whatever you do, don't do anything because you feel pressured to do it.

Doing something kind for others has a positive impact on our mental health. If you combine being kind to others with being kind to yourself, imagine how much happier our communities will be.

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For Every Mean Thought, Speak One Kinder

I just read the title phrase of this post on The Authentic Project’s Instagram account today and thought that it was an excellent piece of advice. Especially in the times we are living when we are surrounded by so much negativity and so much hatred. You can’t fight fire with fire, so cooling down our thoughts before we speak might help us meet in the middle with those who think so differently to us. Being kind to others does not mean being weak; anyone who has been kind to someone who has mistreated them knows how much courage it takes.

We need more kind words, and we also need to start making an effort to make the people around us feel like they matter. It sounds like a lot of work and the sceptical who reads this might wonder why even bother. But, the truth is that happiness is contagious, and when you start making people feel better about themselves, they will inevitably try to make others feel the way that you made them feel. This will result in improving your community’s mood, and in return, you will be more comfortable belonging to a happier environment.

We are bombarded every day with sad and apocalyptical news. From social media, from the news outlets and even from the small talk with strangers or peers. Every day there is something that has gone wrong with politics, with the environment or with humanity. This affects particularly the more susceptible demographics like our youth because they either haven’t lived long enough to compare what is going on today with similar events in the past or because people in power haven’t provided them with the right tools through education to be able to deal with these situations.

The importance of self-worth has been lost, and people today feel that there is no future for them. This makes us all vulnerable and prone to manipulation. An emotionally broken population makes and easy to handle pack. This is why this is a moment for solidarity and for finding more points in common and pointing out fewer differences. We are all in this together, from the far left to the far right and everyone in between because we are all part of society. If we don’t start being good to people now, the consequences can be catastrophic for all of us. We don’t want to relive the events that affected humanity a century ago.

This is not the time to be a bystander and shrug the shoulders when we see what’s happening around us. We need more citizen engagement, and we need more acts of kindness. We need to start speaking from the heart more because when you speak from the heart, the other heart will listen.

Photo credit: behind the scenes by Andrzej Gruszka.

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