I set myself the task for 2020 to try to find common ground with everyone with whom I interact, even those with opposite points of view to mine. It has proven to be a challenging task, one that requires a lot of deep breaths, a lot of counting to a million and a lot of letting go of prejudices and personal beliefs. But, reminding myself that I might be wrong has helped me bring my anxiety levels down whenever I'm faced with an uncomfortable conversation.
We all live our lives with a set of beliefs that influence everything that we do. Some of those beliefs come from our upbringing (family, place of birth), while others have been acquired through the experiences that we have lived so far. Our brain makes every decision based on those beliefs and builds a set of assumptions. For us, that is how the world is.
I read somewhere that fish don't know that they live underwater. For them, being surrounded by liquid is the way the world is. Like fish, we walk around making the assumption that the world is how we see it. Until we meet someone whose views of the world are opposite to ours, someone who doesn't live underwater, but above it. And our first reaction is to say: "No, that can't be possible. They live in the wrong."
The truth is that, even if sometimes we might be right, the rest of the world can't possibly be wrong 100% of the times. There is a chance that sometimes we will be the ones in the wrong. What's more, on some occasions, we could all be partially right, and those are the moments when we need to focus on our commonalities.
What I'm trying to say is that no matter how right you think you are, listening to what others have to say and seeing life through their eyes can only expand your horizons and help you understand the world better. If, in the end, you prove to be right, treat others kindly as they assimilate their new reality. If you are wrong, be humble enough to admit it, and be grateful that you have learnt something new today.
There is a quote that has been running around the internet for some time, and that has been attributed to Japanese writer Haruki Murakami. I haven't been able to find the source. Whether it's his or not, I like what it expresses because it is a lesson on handling disagreements with others: “Always remember that to argue, and win, is to break down the reality of the person you are arguing against. It is painful to lose your reality, so be kind, even if you are right.”
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